Thursday, March 19, 2009

The Waiting Room

Do you ever feel like you are in this big waiting room for your life? I don’t mean that you’ve been sitting around waiting for your life to happen or anything…just that due to recent circumstances you seem to be just waiting to see what is going to happen. You do all you can and then all there is left to do is let the clock tick by and hope that something happens. I know some people will read this and say that that is the wrong approach and you need to get out there and do do do and make things happen – but what if you really have done all you can and the information is out there and you really can do nothing but wait.

Waiting. I am not a patient person, I can definitely play it calm and cool but inside I am in chaos. What are we going to do? What is the next step? What will life bring us next? Over the last year or so we have dealt with more than I imagined us dealing with in our first five years of marriage let alone our first – and here we are again; Wide eyed and wondering what will come next. We are obviously still brewing on all the typical things young married couples deal with – when should we have kids? When we decide to have them will we be able to physically – what if there is something wrong and we don’t know it yet? Where should we settle down, buy a home? Can we afford a home – is it too risky to get locked into something? What about renting forever? How do we move forward in our careers – what is the next step?

I really feel like we arrived at an office and put our names on the list and we are sitting in those uncomfortable chairs watching daytime TV and leafing through a Highlight’s magazine. We are in the waiting room just sitting and hoping that soon that door will open and we will know the answer to the all important question of “What’s next?”.
Until then we can’t get too scared or too worked up – we can barely even think about anything except trying to be patient, being grateful for what we do have and knowing that that door has to open soon…I just has to.