Saturday, June 26, 2010

Dear Population of __________ (the city I work in),

It has come to my attention today more than ever that you are all less than what I would consider members of an intelligent species. With as little specifics as possible I would like to outline the following realities and facts to you so that you might strive to be less annoying and ridiculous creatures thus making my life just a wee bit less frustrating:
#1. Credit cards are a part of everyday life. Every place you go has a different machine to process your card. I get it. They are different. But they are not however, complicated or written in hieroglyphics. They are in English and color coded. Just use your eyes and let the message transfer back to your brain before you ask!
#2. When your name is Jenifer and a door says "Helga" on it...this does not mean YOU. It just doesn't. Does this really need to be said?
#3. If you do not have the time to shop, then don't. It's just stupid.
#4. When you are should apologize.

I know that there are more items to add to this list but at the moment I done.