Saturday, November 20, 2010

Dear Gary the Firewood Guy,

First Gary, I would like to sincerely thank you for not killing my husband and I yesterday when we came to your residence to pick up the firewood. Your home was very unique and your trash pile/ compost heap was an inspiration to those of us aspiring to be GREEN in this day and age.

However, I did think of a few helpful tips you might consider when having wood customers to your home to pick up their firewood.
These are just mere suggestions: Do not comment about your dishonorable discharge from the army. Please try to avoid using the customers name in excess as that can be a bit unsettling to the person; making you seem anxious and thus making them (us) feel anxious and fearful of you. Do refrain from making unneeded trips back and forth to your home - the customers are there such a short time these breaks lend themselves to more feelings of insecurity and uneasiness. "Composting" in your front yard is not a widely accepted practice in most subdivisions (keep that in mind should your living arrangements change) also, please look up some details for your compost pile so you know what is and is not biodegradable, i.e. plastic bags, tires, cans, and regular everyday trash. I would leave it to natural things like leftover fruits and vegetables. But, again please do note that I am not a professional. Another tip to just keep in mind as you are practicing customer service; Try to avoid making too many references about coming to the customer's home and getting their home address. Especially if they have never made any reference to the option of having their wood delivered (as you can see they are in your yard at this moment to avoid you being in theirs). Making these types of comments will surely end your business relationship and ensure the customers take an alternate route home in case you have decided to follow them to save them the trouble of writing down their address for you.

Please take this advice to heart and may your firewood business flourish as best it can in this economic climate. And considering your military history, perhaps you should lay low for a while as I have posted BEWARE OF BUYING WOOD FROM THIS MAN posters all over the tri-city area with your picture attached. I took the picture with the high definition camera on my cellular device while you were deciding whether to kill us or sell us firewood. I applaud your obvious choice but hope in the future your customers will not consider you having other intentions besides picking up their wood from your residence/ compost heap.

Best Wishes in your business venture,