Friday, January 23, 2009

Simple

College. A more simple time?

I have been thinking lately about how the ease and lack of responsibility you have in your college years compared to now. Was it really a more simple time? I did have a job, but it was part time and mostly social. I had lots of classes and too many hours at a time...but I had plenty of time to do the work. I was surrounded by friends so every night was a fun night out or in. Lots of activities…but only if I felt like going.

I did have responsibilities I guess – I had grades and I had organizations and things I was in charge of and responsible for activities and planning. I think I was stressed sometimes and definitely high strung about it BUT...compared to now – when I look back I just see a kid having fun and playing around.

I have fun now – but rarely do I pick up the mail without a bill in it. I often have conversations with my attorney. I spend time worrying about job security and what my career goals are in the long run. I wonder about whether or not I want to have children and if I will ever be ready or be able to afford it. We plan our year of vacation time and travel in January so we can work everything in. I obsess over where I want to live, who I am, health food! I mean I have a lot going on and it can be hectic and overwhelming at times…but did I feel that way four years ago too? Was it really a more simple time or am I just remembering only the good and dismissing the drama –

Maybe…
Gosh...College was so amazing! And I never thought when we were leaving high school that we could top that experience and then came college (sigh) awesome memories…four years full.
Maybe that is just what we do with memories…we keep the best ones on top and when we look back at periods of our life we see more of the good – and even when we see the bad we find a way to make it funny or chuckle over it.

Even looking back to when Kyle and I first moved to Florida and it seems like a different time entirely…

Maybe several years from now I will look back on this year and think of it as The Year that changed my life, or maybe I will think of it as the year we did this..or that..and wasn’t that a simpler time???

So, I guess the question is: Are things getting more complicated or is everything just different and seems bigger when you are in the moment?

Am I still the girl who would find a cozy spot under a tree and write in her notebook for hours in between classes? Am I still the girl who fell in love while taking a walk around a lake… Am I still the girl who throws peach smoothie on her best friend in the elevator? Am I still the girl who dances like no one is watching and sings in the car even at stoplights… Am I still the girl who lights the candle for Koinonia Philia… Am I