Friday, July 25, 2008

Friday Morning

Well, I just spent an hour writing a blog that I can't publish until I add a few more pictures from home! So I finished. Saved. Looked at the screen. Looked at my empty desk devoid of work. And just pressed Create one more time. What will I post about? I don't know! I have been a blogging fiend this week (for me at least) What am I going to do when work comes rolling in next week and I don't have time to wonder over to Today's Creative Blog and the other fun sites I have discovered this last week or so. What am I gonna do when I can't spend hours searching for puppies? I suppose I will get over it and do my job....but it won't be easy!

We are in the middle of a Bible Study on Prayer with our lifegroup. On Wednesday we talked about trusting that God will answer our prayers according to His Will. One of the verses that was referenced was Phillipians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything. Instead, in every situation, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell your requests to God." This verse has always been one to bring me back from my seemingly high horse and I-will-take-care-of-it attitude. I also a big worrier and I will worry and worry as if the whole world is leaning on me. Somehow this verse sneaks in and this one as well: Luke 12:25 "And which of you by worrying can add an hour to his life?" I have to stop in my tracks of worrying and realize that God doesn't want me to be overcome with this drama and worrying and be caught up in the anxiety of so many things when he has already told me in his scriptures that all I need to is lean on him and give him these issues and problems and stop trying to carry them around on my shoulders. Does this speak to anyone else? It really hits me sometimes how I can almost push God out like my problems are too small to worry him with and yet here he is telling me to spend time with him in prayer rather than sit around mulling things over obsessing in my mind. It's a relief once again to realize he is our Almighty God and Saviour and he is so Gracious and Loving as to take our pain for us and comfort are hearts with the knowledge that he is there. Even now I feel lighter somehow as I type I am handing things over to him. Family things that are grieving me, people I am worried about, money struggles...
I know I need constant reminding...How can he love me so much? I am so flawed!

I am really struggling with some relationship things lately. Not with me personally but with other family members struggles with each other. I never really considered myself a mediator or anything but I do remember never being able to sit in a room when someone had trouble with someone else..I always wanted to confront and fix it! As I hear things about others I of course always remember that heresay can be a dangerous thing but I pray for the struggles with others as I feel like my distance kind of inhibits me from being a conflict resolutionsist (is this a word?) I know that waltzing into any issue I never have the full story or both sides whatever the case may be so I find the best option I have is to pray for both parties as getting involved from 1500 miles away is never a good idea. I just hurt so much to hear that so in so has a grudge against someone else or so in so is angry about this or that. Emotions run high I know - but outside looking in (and from so far away) I hate the idea of something that seems really unnecessary ruining precious relationships. During and right after our wedding I had to experience some things that had altered my relationships with people, once again distance and time ran its course and things weren't confronted and after much time spent mulling and angry I chose to forgive and forget as well as I can as I spend very little time with my family and close close friends and have no desire to harbour anger for years and allow trouble to arise from it. I am completely over those problems and believe me it wasn't easy to find that ability to forgive a silent and unspoken issue - and but for the grace of God I wouldnt have been able to. My prayer for these 4 or 5 situations is that they each find a peace and are able to go on loving and respecting the other. So many times it seems that jealously and selfishness are the ring leaders of many conflicts as opposed to real events and actions. Does anyone else smell what I am steppin' in here? (phrase borrowed from our pastor :))

Wow! I kind of like this blank unthemed blog! I feel like my little typin' fingers are just leading the way....maybe it is because I am so soothed by the Colbie Calliat songs I am listening to.

Okay, maybe that is enough gabbing for now
You might just hear from me later if no paperwork falls onto my desk!