Thursday, February 28, 2008

Thirteen Things That I Know About Myself

1. I know that there is a lot more to me than what I make the effort to show and share with the people I am with everyday. I have thoughts that are so BIG! and dreams so HIGH! and I think that some people I consider good friends would be shocked to know that I am a writer, a poet....

2. I know that I am completely and totally blessed with what the Lord has given me. I live in Florida with my husband, 1,000's of miles from my best friends and family and I am entirely content. I know the gifts that I have been given and I feel it acutely when I wake up in the morning (well, most mornings...)

3. I am so very very shy. Although I am confident and have been called outgoing. The truth is that until I become totally comfortable in my surroundings, I can be a total wallflower.

4. I make up my mind very fast. Not that I am close minded - just that I am instinctual. I know basically from the get-go exactly what I am going to choose or do in any situation. I go with my gut. I have ulcers because of this I think, but I know that my gut is connected in some way to my heart and it is generally the best course to follow.

5. I eat to feel better. It can be healthy or unhealthy. It can be a lot or a little. But the term Comfort Food holds deep meaning to me.

6. I read a lot. And I mean..a lot. I am generally in the middle of several books. I read fast and I enjoy it and relish in the time. But, my retention value is rather small. So, I keep books because I could reread them the next year and enjoy them even more the second time.

7. I am honest. I do not lie and I do not put up false characteristics. I am who I am and I will tell you who I am if you want to know.

8. I am the biggest scaredy cat in the world! When my husband leaves for work, I check the door two different times in the 30 minutes before I leave for work myself. I walk back into the living room when I hear a noise that ends up being my fish tank or my fish playing in the rocks. I am literally fearfull of my own shadow.

9. I am impulsive. As a shopper as a decision maker and as a judge (this is not a good quality in all respects clearly).

10. I care about today a lot more than tomorrow and the next day. I have a fear of building all this hope and preparation for the future and forgetting to live in the present.

11. My Childhood, Teenage Years and Early Adulthood could easily be shifted into the reasons why at least 26 self-help books were written.

12. Music is healing to me. It could be Norah Jones in the background during a bubble bath, Third Eye Blind on my way home from work with the windows down and my hair blowing in the breeze, or it could be my WOW worship CD on my way to work. It relaxes me and puts me in a happy or content mood.

13. Who I am and how I am percieved by others is the most important thing to me. I cannot bear being misunderstood, mistaken, or misinterpretated. I like to be in control. I like to know what people think of me and how they feel about me all the time without asking them.
I work way to hard at it but it is really an enormous thing that I obsess over, not for their acceptance but just so I know that they know that this is who I am. And I generally want them to like who I am and want to be around me. That is my hope.

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