"Hope is not a granted wish or a favor performed...... It is a zany, unpredictable
dependence on a God who loves to surprise us out of our socks." -Max Lucado
Kyle and I have been laughing the past weekend about the twists and turns that we go
through in this life. Not just the changing seasons of our lives but those big earthshaking WAMMO! flip everything upside down changes.
Most of you know by now although I have not blogged about it that I was in a car accident last Saturday (the 16th). I was on my way to the post office to pick up some wedding photos I had ordered and as I am making a left hand turn (with a green arrow!) a fellow citizen plows into my driver's side door. I must obstain from posting pictures as frankly... it is just too depressing. I loved my little Ford Taurus (nickname: Millie, as in Thouroughly Modern Millie - starring Julie Andrews..anyone?). Even when we went to the tow yard to empty it out I cried just looking at the smashed in side that is apparently unfixable. So, here I was going to the post office - ErrrkkK!! and now I have a smashed in car and a aching head. 15 minutes later I was on my way to the Emergency Room via a lovely ambulance. I suffered minor head trauma but no cuts or anything, just a nasty bump so I was released after a CAT SCAN determined that my brain was fine and functioning according to normal. Kyle and I were in a state of shock - here we are newlyweds looking at buying our first house and paying off my car with our tax return, dealing with the seemingly typical drama that come from family and life and BAM! a life change.
I say a change because on so many levels it makes you reevaluate when you have a brush with danger and drama. We force ourselves not to talk about the what if's - what if he had hit me 6 inches more to the left - would I even be here? What if I hadn't ran that errand this morning.
Suddenly things just start to seem petty or meaningless that you have been obsessing over constantly. This has really made us sit back and look, or more like get down on our knees and pray that I am safe and that we have insurance and that we can handle this if we take it one day at a time.
The major kick happened on the following morning when I got up and could barely move from soreness, the effects of whiplash apparently. So I am sore and achy and having neck and back pain and then on Thursday SNAP!! my back pain intensifies by like 98% and I am basically stuck in bed with a heating pad in between doctor's appointments and my chiropractor's adjustments.
Now I am fully medicated and attempting to function at work - while at the same time worrying about Lawyers, Cars, houses, Pain, my husband taking care of everything for me, How is all this distraction affecting our jobs? Ache Ache Spasm of Pain...I could go on and on.
And then last night as I layed in bed I just gave up- it is too much to handle, so I did what I should have done in the first place and just prayed, Lord - here it all is, everything on my mind. Please help me make some sense of it.
And this is why Kyle and I were laughing this weekend as he drove his medicated wife around looking at cars totally exhausted with the stress of everything. We got up early and went to the first service at church and heard a great sermon on Ecclesiastes. Basically saying how everything in life is meaningless without God (this is super paraphrase mode). As we are driving we start talking about there being a reason for everything and why sometimes things happen so that other things can happen...and we were just awed by the Lord. We see that he is working in our lives and although we are anxious about the future and aching over sore bones and muscles at the moment - we know that there is a plan and someone that knows better than we. We are so grateful that I am alive and that we have the means to fix the dilemma and we are just praying for patience as we work thru all the paperwork and hope for the best.
I don't know how much sense that all makes but maybe if you can weave in and out of my random thoughts and ideas..you can get what I was trying to say.
Have a good Monday