Thursday, April 10, 2008

13 Funny Things to Do While Taking an Exam

Well, these are not things I did in my exam last weekend. But looking back knowing that I am finished and I hope I did well is all I can do at the moment so I decided to post a funny list I found of things to do during an exam...I am guessing one that doesn't decide the future of your professional career would be the most appropriate place. Anywhoo- for all you out there who were the class clown or always wanted to be a little rebellious... there are more than 13 but I just couldn't pick out my favorites!

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

6. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who are you? Where's the regular guy? "

7. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

8. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

9. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

10. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

11. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.

12. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.

13. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

14. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

15. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

16. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.

17. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

18. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.

19. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

20. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

21. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think." Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so".

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