Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Worries

It is so hard to watch friends go through hard times. Because unlike family you feel just outside the loop when it comes to really personal things. You want to help but you know that all you can offer is a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. It is so hard to know what to say to a friend.
We had a discussion in lifegroup a week or so ago about telling people the truth about how you feel and also holding back the truth to avoid hurting feelings. I admitted to being one who sugarcoats and has a hard time confronting friends with my thoughts on their life and choices. I have never been one to feel it is my place - but there are moments when it just might be the right thing to do so long as your friendship is strong enough to handle such honesty. I hate to hurt feelings. So, I do what I do best - I worry.

The other seems to be offering an opinion when you are in such different places in your life. How can a married person offer safe advice to a single person of the same age without sounding like a lucky know-it all to the other. Or how can a single or engaged person offer advice to a married person? How can anyone talk about relationships when everyones is so different with so many different circumstances to consider. - see what I mean about the worrying thing.

Today I am sad and I can't exactly say why except that I feel like I am not being the friend that I would hope my friends would be to me. Make sense?

My mind is pummeling me with regrets today. Things I have done or said in the past that I swore I would never regret...they make me cringe. Promises I have broken. Words I have left unsaid. Strange how one thing can bring on so much emotion and so much thought from all corners of your life. If I wasn't on a deadline today- I might just be sitting at my desk all day in some daydreamy haze of reflection and worry.