Thursday, January 03, 2008

Sometimes we blog. Sometimes we don't.

“What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters, compared to what lies within us.” -Ralph Waldon Emerson

Last night on our way home from lifegroup Kyle and I were talking about the different characters of people we know. The conversation came up concerning a few comments made at our lifegroup. As you might know Kyle and I are considering moving due to a possible job opportunity that has come up. We mentioned it to friends is passing and they threw a fit- the cause being that they claim that every time they make a good friend the friend ends up moving away. So, now we bring it up jokingly on occasion, last night they mentioned off hand that her parents were considering moving out of state. She said that if her parents moved then she would have to follow because she could not live without them nearby. Her husband feels differently...anyone with in-laws can most likely attest to his feelings…
That got Kyle and I to thinking, why is it that some people do not have the desire at all to live anywhere else other than where they grew up? Not that this is a bad thing at all – we were just considering the people we knew and who lived near their parents where they grew up and who moved away. It doesn’t really seem to have anything to do with being a so called “family person” or anything. I myself love family and have always been very family oriented and yet I also always wanted to move away, see and experience other things with no real intention (or opposition) of ever living again in my hometown or state. So, it really has nothing to do with missing people or not being close to your family. Some people just choose to stay near home and choose to not venture out into the unknown. The “unknown” is not a fear, just maybe not even a desire that they possess.
We are all very different with different dreams and goals for our lives. As we discussed this we wondered if it had to do with childhood experiences, with parent’s being still married or divorced and remarried, did it have something to do with just being from a small town and being eager to see what the world had to offer? We didn’t really come up with any was just one of those wondering why kind of conversations. But, it got me thinking.
A close friend of mine plans to move back and live near her family where we all grew up and I totally and completely admire her for it. She has a wonderful family that she is close to and she wants to live near them because that is what her happiness is.

(Entre le soapbox)
I am blessed with a wonderful family as well, but we seem to have a few ugly under the surface issues (that most have dealt with and set aside and we live our lives for the future and not the past, but there are a burdened few who can’t look past the past.) And it is those few issues, those ghosts of other’s past decisions, those little heartaches are what keep me so happily situated with a once or twice a year visit home. It’s just who I am and who I will always be. I don’t do “drama”, I don’t do gossip, I am happily an ear to listen, I will always be a shoulder to cry on, and willing to give my opinion when asked. But the hurt hurts me way to much; I just can’t live in it. Old or new -I will not dwell in my own issues or the issues of others – there is nothing to gain by doing so. There are only feelings to hurt, hearts to break, tears to shed and depression to overwhelm – if there is nothing gained then there can be no loss to me for not playing a part. I do not ruin other other’s special occasions whether I am mad or not, I do not dig up long ago issues and throw them at others feet. I do not harbor jealously. I keep my problems between my prayers, myself, my beloved. But, I do not and will not crowd his mind with the past drama and issues of my family because not only do they not matter now but they never will matter to what we have to do today or tomorrow. We are all different than we were 10 or 15 years ago. Some of us are different than we were 15 days or 10 minutes ago. We grow, we change, we learn from life and the journeys that God places before us.
As you can tell from my paragraph here- I am one of those who live away from home because it helps me be a better me. A better friend, employee, daughter, relative, and wife. It’s not for everyone but it is for me. I guess what I am trying to say is that although I did not move away from home to “get away from home” I have found in living at a distance that my life, my mind and heart have all grown very happier. I have had a happy life. I moved to follow my love and a dream, not to escape family drama – nope, that was just a bonus that I have come to appreciate. Call it selfish, call it genius….hee hee……call it what you will. It is what it is. We all have our own lives to live and we live them for the Lord (at least we should) not for our mothers and fathers, siblings etc.

My husband is different. He lives away from home because he is from a small town with a seemingly set amount of jobs and occupations. He wanted something different, not better, just different. He loves his hometown and shows it off with pride when he takes me home to visit.
Other people live at home because that is how life happened. My brother always planned to move from home but he happened to find a great job nearby, he married a woman whose family is nearby as well and he seems to live quite happily 3 or 4 miles from both parents. He could move or stay-he seems to be neutral.
Some of us are neutral, others are settled. Some would not live within a plane ride of their birthplace while the next wouldn’t live more than a block from their childhood home. God built us all differently – VERY DIFFERENTLY – he gave us different struggles, different happy moments, different grief, different family, friends, passions, appetites, thoughts and opinions.
How else could I quote Garth Brooks in one blog and Ralph Waldo Emerson in another? We are unique creatures all living here together. So back to my quote at the top-
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters, compared to what lies within us.”
My take:
It doesn’t matter so much where we are going or where we have been. It matters who we really are and how we are perceived by those we love and respect.

But that is just my opinion. Maybe I am going overboard…………(wink)