Wednesday, January 02, 2008

The Dance

For some reason this year as I reflect, Garth Brook's song The Dance came into my mind.

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared 'neath the stars alone
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I a king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have chanced it all

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance

All this talk of New Year’s Resolutions and goals started the little memory wheels in my mind to start turning. I thought about the different defining moments in my life and how the year began. What is it about the holidays and such that caused such reflection in our hearts and minds? I am not sure if it is just something about that holiday feeling that reminds you of friends and family far and near.
I remember a New Years party when my parents were married. All the people from our church came up to our home on Prue road and all of the kids were in one end of the house watching a movie and steering clear of the loud crazy adults who were playing Win, Lose or Draw on the dry erase board. We snuck down the hall and looked through the banister to see what they were doing and why everyone was laughing so much. The music minister has Ritz crackers on his eyes and another fellow had a piece of ham on his tongue making it look as long as a dogs! I was 5 or 6…I thought it was hilarious! Why weren’t we allowed to enjoy all this fun? Rough being a kid, huh? But it’s a great memory that I keep tucked away of when life was good and divorce was not a word in my vocabulary.
I remember another New Years that I did not welcome quite so merrily. I brought in the New Year wrapped in the hug of a very dear friend with tears streaming down my face and my stomach aching over...yes, you guessed it...a boy. Love found and love lost….and that was how I began the year. And it was definitely a precursor to a year of mopey dopey teenage drama. Love sure does hurt.
I remember a New Years Party with my girlfriends. We all sat around on the kitchen floor and talked until the early hours of the next morning. If I had a nickel for all the memories I have of my friends and I on a random kitchen floor talking about life and swapping stories. For some reason the kitchen floor is where we always migrate and it has nothing to do with food or drink...I am positive there is no real reason other that it is just something we do.
I remember a New Years in Deadwood, South Dakota that involved a lot of pink champagne and party hats. I remember another New Years there that I always try to forget.
I remember the New Year that I spent with my fiancĂ© surrounded by family. There was talk of wedding dresses and invitations and an aggressive Texas Hold’em Tournament.
And this year I brought in New Year’s with my husband of almost two months! We spent a nice evening with friends drinking a lovely sangria and playing Liar’s Dice, Apples to Apples and Disney Scene-It. It was peaceful and quiet and just what we needed after returning late the night before from 8 days visiting family in South Dakota for the Holidays.
With each New Years memory I think back to who I was at that time in my life. A happy innocent child, A heartbroken teenager with a world of issues of her mind, a girl who knew her friends would always be there, a woman falling in love with a man, a college graduate independent and far from home providing for herself and still trying to grow up, a woman planning her wedding, a wife looking at the future and wondering what it will bring her and her husband.

P.S. More to come about the Holidays and our White Christmas in South Dakota!